Ok so this is my first enry.

3/30/06

I guess you could say iv been prety depressed lately, prety crazy too as sadness and disparing often make people. Everyone deals with these things in diferent ways. painters paint, writers compose trageties, and i rip myself appart inside my head. drawing, using photoshop to distort the world into what i see in the mirrior. and I hone my skills, all of my skills from photoshop, to fighting to knife throwing. anything to keep buisy and remember to rember to forget she forgot me. working out is great too. just go till you almost pass out and the room starts spinning. the darkness encroches allong my peripheral and i can hear my own hearbeat in my left ear. then you feel like throwing up, and thats not so fun. but life cant always be a bed of roses. sooner or later you pull back the crimson covers and see the thorns underneath.

Lifes a funny state of being. you cant realy rely on anyone or anything in it, its all so fast and fickle. even you will betray yourself at some time. so where does that leave us? i dont know, its something im still thinking over and probly will never see. all we can do is keep breathing and stay alive because its human nature to keep breathing and stay alive so we can perpetuate little people that keep breathing and perpetuating.

Whats the point of anything?